Currie's Gratitude 13 January 2013

If I only try I can always fail

Yet if I DO a thing

NO MATTER how it turns out

Nor even how “well” it goes

Or NOT

I DID it and I CAN DO it

Again.

I don’t have many relationships.

NOT that I don’t want relationships. And certainly “better relationships.”

It’s just that for so Very Long Now I have only TRIED to have, build, and maintain relationships that I have forgotten to simply DO them. To BE in them.

For just this moment, let’s take my relationship with my dad. I once adored him and he me. [long ago]

Then THINGS HAPPENED & CHANGED and we BEgan to relate more in opposition to each other.

Eventually we found a sort of Middle Ground that worked okay. For a good while…

Enter a long looooooong stretch of NOT seeing or talking with one another. [during which time we both aged significantly AND our lives reorganised themselves round us]

Our first reconnection went well. I thought Hot DAMN!!

Then things BEcame awkward and strained. He’s got so old. Grumpy. Even, well… mean, I thought…

So I tried to make things work “better.” With failure upon failure.

And then I BEgan DOing better at BEing Me. Since DOing we are finding a sweet spot. Or mayBE... I am.

I love you, Currie