Although I have learned
I continue to BE astonished
By my total lack of patience
And the immediacy of my frustration
When I attempt to DO things
On my schedule
As I think they should BE done…
I almost don’t need to write anything else. I am grateful to know myself so well. To see me yet again pushing the boulder up the waterfall…
I am grateful, too, that I have learned to step away. Stop. Let Go.
Even though I often start right up all over again. Whenever I DO immerse myself. Completely…
What is that, immersion?! Is it utter and complete fascination?? Is it something, when first glimpsed, that I must then attend to with all of me, no balance of Now in anything?! These are questions which hold within themselves their answers.
Can I learn to love the question, love the process of discovery, and most of all, love my exasperated impatient utterly enthralled focus?!
I hope so. Though I am sure I will need to apply some tools and practises to get out of the place that feels like sinking into quicksand.
I realise there are essential learnings in all this. Reminders of what I have learned BEfore. And even echoes of long-forgotten understandings of How Life Works…
I love you, Currie