Sometimes it seems I should already know something
When I first realise it
Yet I don’t [didn’t]
MayBE it is like that saying about the student and teacher
The first BEing ready
The latter appearing…
I feel reflective and mayBE even a little expansive this early morning. It was a strange sleep, yet again, and I leaned into that strangeness rather than trying to outrun it, avoid it, or simply deny it was what it was.
In the course of the Day that was Yesterday [a statement which could BE true any morning when I come here to write] I had realisations about Life, about WHY ____, and about myself. The trifecta some might say…
One thing I realised was that I am scared and I am going to take care of myself and that scaredness.
Another was that it is less about my wanting what I think I want and more wanting just to BE seen, heard, and known. I don’t want to throw myself up in anyone’s face or to jump up and down in desperation to BE noticed. Still, those are two things that aptly describe me.
And the last, though NOT in any way least thing is that I am so darned amazed at what I have done, am DOing.
Can I say that?!
I love you, Currie