Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Currie's Gratitude 13 November 2012



They tell you it is
MayBE NOT directly
In so-many words
But you know
If you are looking
Listening
Breathing in and out…

I think the hardest part of BEing “different” [which requires a comparison with someone or something else] is the deep down into my very bones feeling I am WRONG. I am unworthy. Too Much. NOT Enough.

Or, most of all, NOT to BE known about.

When there is no interest, [and especially following an extreme and determined interest] a girl can get to feeling all sorts of feelings.

Several of these are merely annoying and bothersome.

Others?!

Well, let’s just turn this corner, shall we?!

BEing different is utterly horrible at certain stages of Life. Especially when the differences are glaring and feeling lit up like a billboard. Especially, too, when all you want to DO is fit in, blend, BE a part of, included, wanted, perhaps the one chosen. First. Eagerly. JOYfully.

Still, it’s NOT wrong. NOT necessarily. NOT automatically. NOT REALLY… It is simply Different. MayBE wrapped in other adjectives… unique, original, fascinating, captivating, exceptional, unusually fresh, brilliant, clever, extraordinary… it might go down a whole lot easier.

Winning adjectives and those dark and uglies aside, BEing different makes Life interesting. There is no trail to follow. Only adventures that leave a path…

I love you, Currie

3 comments:

ArtMuseDog and Carol said...

Wonderful creation ~ wonderful post and such truth! ~ (A Creative Harbor) ^_^

Ginger Davis Allman (The Blue Bottle Tree) said...

Being a "different" sort of person who is raising "different" kids, I have lots of conversation about this very subject with my 17yo. She's realized the superficial pointless futility in being a high school fashion star. She simultaneously rolls her eyes at the fake tans and ugg boots and yet she feels rejected, empty, tossed aside when those same people don't value her.

So we talk about how different is not bad. A rejection of the norm just means you're at the ends of the bell curve, you've not wrong or abnormal. I tell her to find herself, revel in herself, because someday the rest of the world will grow up and there will be people who see her for what she is and love her for it. In the meantime, be kind.

I also understand your thoughts about being alone, about there being no interest. After a horrendous marriage I was a single mom for many years. And nobody wanted me. I perceived it as rejection, of course, and there's really no word that can adequately capture that feeling of being completely invisible, unwanted, unloved, unvalued. But I know now it was a perception on my part, and temporary. I am loved. I am wanted. I just hadn't yet met the right connections. But you know? I miss that alone time. Cherish it.

Your bones are not unworthy. (I mean, you know that, but still.)It's all an illusion. You are loved. Deeply loved. By the universe. By your friends. By people you don't even know yet. Life is fantastic that way. Different is so much better. So very much.

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes YES!! Beautiful words and phenomenal art, too. I am so grateful my daughter and her friends are so completely happy with being themselves (which means being different from many of the other kids at school.) I hope our generation learned most of those lessons for the kids coming along behind us.

Thoughtful, reflective, lovely.

I am grateful AEDM brought me to your blog post! ( If you would like to see my post from today, it is here. )