Friday, October 19, 2012

Currie's Gratitude 19 October 2012

It’s all sorts of weird to go first
In forgiving
[or so I always thought]
BEcause what about
And what happened to ME BEcause of what YOU/THEY did?!
What’s really happened is I’m growing a little
Getting stronger
And smiling more
When I forgive first [and when I forgive at all]

A part of me wants to go into the story of the past two days and tell you what happened to me and therefore build an excuse for my crankiness and BEing out of sorts. I want to tell you again [and again after that again] WHY I choose to live as I DO. Mostly in Solitude, without television, radio, newspaper, or ringing telephones.

I want you to UNDERSTAND and pat me on the head and say “poor baby” and throw wide the door to my pity party.

I want you to know and to “get me.”  To nod in agreement and understanding. To BE outraged alongside me.

How silly though. REALLY. BEcause there’s nothing quite so slimy as pulling anyone else into the muck I am trying to rise out of. And there is always that AFTER-TASTE of ohwhydidIDOthatagain?!?!

So instead I am going to say I am so grateful to BE here Right Now writing this. So glad that I get to BE grateful…

I love you, Currie

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