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| Ó 2012 Currie Silver |
It makes me hesitate
Stepping up
Taking the first step toward another
Away from stuck
It is risky
Uncertain
Hard, but…
I canNOT tell you how many arguments/misunderstandings I’ve
had over my Life where I was keeping score and simply refusing to BE the one to
take the first step, to BEgin the process of healing.
I don’t know precisely when I first recognised this,
especially as something I did NOT want and in fact WOULD NOT choose again!!!
Pretty pathetic, I think Now… And if I am honest I have to
say I still have that scorecard tucked in my pocket. Still
use it. Refer to it. Still take action or don’t take action based
on what I see there.
The sad part of this [like it isn’t ALL horribly dismal] is
that I have “scored” myself right on out of some precious friendships. I have
waited so long for the other to take that next step, to respond kindly, to move
toward healing whatever it is that is “broken” BEtween us that I have Let Go of
the WHOLE of the relationship… or discovered myself holding onto a string that
someone else Let Go of long ago…
I am learning, too slowly and late perhaps, that I’d rather
BE first than lost.
I love you, Currie
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