It has taken me several chaotic years to see how much I
rushed to keep myself “crazy busy” with the most insignificant things just to
feel there was some purpose for my continued existence. It’s both sad and
embarrassing.
At the BEginning of my new Life with just Gracie and me, I
clung to the many things I felt I MUST DO NOW in order NOT to feel my feelings
of uselessness. I made myself a bit of a martyr [talk about embarrassing
admissions…] and took to the role with flourish.
Oh my…
Now, on the other hand, I deLIGHT in the quiet and simple
way I’ve built this new Life, MY
Life. I love my pre-dawn time here, with YOU, writing, digital fiddling, and
reaching BEyond the Wee Cottage, Gracie, and me.
[I even love it when it starts at the wholly unlovable hour of
2-something, like today. I just read awhile until I am ready to get up and
BEgin.]
I had a wonderful confluence yesterday where I was winding
down and received one phone call from my mum and while we were talking, another
from my son. It was a gentle easing into my evening. No fuss. No have-to. No
martyr nonsense.
I realise that rushing around is a choice I made make
no more.
I love you, Currie
1 comment:
LOL! I was forced to stop rushing around. And it annoyed me at first...but it has taught me sooo much!! :):)
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