There’s a hole in the road called My Life which I have
fallen into time and time again.
Even when I see it there, somehow I don’t
avoid it in time or, well, just forget that I need to navigate more
thoughtfully.
The hole is Helping. Too much. Without BEing asked.
You know, don’t you?!
Finishing someone’s sentences. Barging into their story.
Cleaning what they don’t see needs to BE cleaned…
I have a friend who is moving “home” tomorrow.
She has
talked to me a LOT over the past few months about the job of leaving somewhere
she has lived for 16 years.
I’ve wanted to help out, to step up, to relieve her
of some of the burden; but I’ve NOT been asked.
This is rather an astonishing thing for me.
And I say
this with, ummmmmmm, okay, a good bit of good old-fashioned pride.
Apparently I have been of great assistance ANYWAY!!!
I have been an ear
to listen.
I have been a voice of calm, reassuring her that YES, this is a BIG undertaking.
Sometimes
that’s been the best help of all.
I won’t deny I’ve wished I could BE of some “REAL” help.
Still, I like that I have been able to help as I have.
BEcause that’s what she’s asked of me.
I love you, Currie
2 comments:
Helping others can be a slippery slope. Even if asked, if you are so willing sometimes you become used. I have had such an experience, she no longer "needs" my help and apparently with that no longer "needs" the friendship. I would do it again because that is who I am, but it is hurtful.
You shouldn't think of "lending an ear" as irrelevant help ... sometimes it is the best kind. As a parent you learn, often the hard way, that your children must learn their lessons my experiencing the ups and downs of their actions ... listening doesn't risk intrusion or deprivation. What it does is allow a person to listen to themselves sort through their thoughts and often come up with answers they would other wise never achieve. You have honed that skill and at the same time corralled the urge to dive in and do the "hands on" thing which runs the risk of being intrusive ... unless asked, as you said. I love you Currie. You are so thought provoking :)
Andrea @ From The Sol
Yes, being an ear is a wonderful thing. I know what you mean about wishing you could help physically. I can't anymore. I can't travel, either, and most of my family are hundreds of miles away so I miss weddings and funerals. No use crying over spilt milk, as they say. You do what you can do. Being an ear, a shoulder, a confidant--is still of value. :) :)
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