Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Currie's Gratitude 4 June 2013

I was pretty deliberate with this prompt. I see that Now. It is often hard for me to NOT substitute ALWAYS in place of whenever possible.

Yet it is only through understanding my limitations, imagined or intimately acquainted with, that I have come to understand that whenever does NOT equal ALWAYS.

Stepping up will sometimes, perhaps often, mean DOing Nothing. Or at least NOT DOing some certain something.

It can also mean standing still, standing firm, BEing Present, or just standing alone. Like the cheese stands alone in the Farmer and the Dell.

Stepping and standing are NOT the same except sometimes they CAN BE similar. Stepping up to acceptance of a thing, BEing the first to blink, or simply standing down…

I’ve tried in my Life to BE someone who isn’t afraid to BE the only one standing. 

And sometimes I have even succeeded in this; yet never once have I NOT felt fear and a significant amount of embarrassment when stepping up. Even in a crowd.

There’s that rush of whatever it is that courses through me, and I feel a little lightheaded. It’s hard to swallow. It feels like I am going to fall. My face either flushes or drains of colour.

Still, whenever I possibly CAN, I DO step up.

Even when I’m alone.

I love you, Currie

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