I BElieve this.
So often, no matter the consequence, I have held onto something simply BEcause asking for it out loud was simply too terrifying to imagine.
As long as I could hold onto it, keep it inside me, EVERYthing was still possible.
And yet this is no way to LIVE a Life.
It is NOT even a way of BEing that has potential.
It is like BEcoming frozen in Time.
It is, in a way, a little death.
What happens when the door is thrown open and the request goes flying out into the World, well, it’s Now BEyond my control.
Though I haven’t the desire to Control The Universe I once wanted with all of me, I still tremble at the vulnerability of Hoping for YES! and despair of the rollercoaster ride that is, for me, the unDOing of a NOT YES!
And while all of this sounds rather grim and desolate, actually “touching” it is giving me some remarkable sort of Freedom, the likes of which I haven’t experienced up until Now.
On “this end,” of receiving a request, where I say YES! or NOT YES! the territory is a little more forgiving.
I think it’s BEcause I haven’t really had so much experience with it.
Which is a giraffe of an entirely different colour…
I love you, Currie