It seems rocky this morning. Heavy, like a wet wool blanket. And yet it is nothing more than the way I am seeing. This has been my lesson this week. That it is all about HOW I see WHAT I’m seeing.
I have this “trick” I use when depression seems to BE looming and descending. I BEgin to list, mentally, all that is right, well, and good. I try to keep my focus on those bits all the while the OTHER bits are singing louder and louder. I think I learned this in choir.
I think that works better with singing, but it’s sufficient when things are NOT as I would prefer.
What seems so difficult Now is feeling I am TOO MUCH and have flooded the engines in certain parts of my Life. Certain relationships. I never mean to BE yet I often AM. Often have been.
I wonder, will I ever get this part working right?! And then remind myself that “ever” is BEyond my reach. I only need BE in this moment.
Reading a book, some people read the ending BEfore they start. I don’t, but sometimes I will go to the last 20 or so pages and see what I see. Peeking ahead.
This seems like what I am DOing Now. And as hopeless…
I love you, Currie