Choosing when NOT to play is how, sometimes, I will notice that what I thought of as play at some other point in time Now seems, to me, nothing at all like free-spirited and deLIGHTfull, two things that describe play exquisitely for me.
Choosing when NOT to play is when I don’t participate in even the most benign of point counterpoint discussions. When I simply act as if I did NOT hear or DO NOT comprehend or simply am NOT in that particular conversation.
NOT choosing when NOT to play is why I got lost over and over again. In love. I kept picking up what I thought was the rope of connection BEtween me and whoever. In those mistaken moments it turns out that I was playing at what no one else was playing, at the same time.
Choosing when NOT to play is who I can BE sometimes. As though it were an iteration of me. I know this one can make people uncomfortable. And ME unpredictable. Yet it is still a way I reach for when I choose NOT to play.
Sometimes, choosing when NOT to play is what I will DO Now when it seems things are careening down roads I won’t travel anymore, roads which always lead to painful outcomes, sooner or later…
I love you, Currie