This month I am writing from my list of Simple Instructions.
And I see that today’s, Forgive Myself, is Right On Time.
The hardest part of forgiving MYself is my certainty that A]
I don’t deserve it, and, 2] that if I DO
forgive myself, others, in particular anyone involved in whatever my
transgression is/was, will BE sure to “put me in my place” for DOing so.
Kind of a too-fine line to walk, eh?!
Yet I am NOT unique in this. I am even fairly certain that
anyone reading this might have a similar dance they DO around forgiving
themselves.
Which is a comfort AND an encouragement… [I’m just saying.]
Forgiving myself has BEcome such a sticking point for me
BEcause I have trained and pushed and got myself into a strong habit of Never
Letting Myself Off The Hook. I know when I started DOing this, many years and
decades ago, it was actually a great coping mechanism for me. One that served
me well during some especially unforgiveable years.
But that is NOT Now, and I am NOT that young person. She may
well BE a part of me, and a vital one at that, but I have long since outgrown
her methods of self-protection.
Holding back Now is merely a habit I am changing.
I love you, Currie
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