Friday, March 1, 2013

Currie's Gratitude 1 March 2013

This month I am writing from my list of Simple Instructions. And I see that today’s, Forgive Myself, is Right On Time.

The hardest part of forgiving MYself is my certainty that A] I don’t deserve it, and, 2] that if I DO forgive myself, others, in particular anyone involved in whatever my transgression is/was, will BE sure to “put me in my place” for DOing so.

Kind of a too-fine line to walk, eh?!

Yet I am NOT unique in this. I am even fairly certain that anyone reading this might have a similar dance they DO around forgiving themselves.

Which is a comfort AND an encouragement… [I’m just saying.]

Forgiving myself has BEcome such a sticking point for me BEcause I have trained and pushed and got myself into a strong habit of Never Letting Myself Off The Hook. I know when I started DOing this, many years and decades ago, it was actually a great coping mechanism for me. One that served me well during some especially unforgiveable years.

But that is NOT Now, and I am NOT that young person. She may well BE a part of me, and a vital one at that, but I have long since outgrown her methods of self-protection.

Holding back Now is merely a habit I am changing.

I love you, Currie

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