Friday, March 15, 2013

Currie's Gratitude 15 March 2013

Generally speaking, I consider playing fair to BE playing so that if anyone could see I’d have nothing to hide.

Yet, this is ALWAYS the case. I see. I know. And God sees and knows.

Lately I have been deliberately avoiding talking to two people I love talking with every week.

In one case BEcause I am making choices and changes and don’t want to navigate the opinions, suggestions, and, okay, the general bossiness that turns me into a defensive little girl in a blink…

The other one is that I just feel a little too exposed and vulnerable. I can suck it up and have that conversation, same as the other.

I am just playing fair with myself. Putting my need to regain footing and strength BEfore my desire to have 2 weeks go by without those calls happening.

Mostly I wouldn’t see playing fair in this light. Mostly, that is, up until Now. Something is shifting in me, and on top of all that has already shifted, it’s a considerable drift. I’m pleased with myself and proud of myself for honouring myself in this way.

And I am surprised. This is so NOT like what I would have considered Me BEing Me…

However odd it might seem to me, I like this sort of playing fair.

I love you, Currie

1 comment:

Leovi said...

Yes, wonderful textures and colors. Greetings.