Generally speaking, I consider playing fair to BE playing so
that if anyone could see I’d have nothing to hide.
Yet, this is ALWAYS the case. I see. I know. And God sees
and knows.
Lately I have been deliberately avoiding talking to two
people I love talking with every week.
In one case BEcause I am making choices and changes and don’t
want to navigate the opinions, suggestions, and, okay, the general bossiness
that turns me into a defensive little girl in a blink…
The other one is that I just feel a little too exposed and
vulnerable. I can suck it up and have that conversation, same as the other.
I am just playing fair with myself. Putting my need to
regain footing and strength BEfore my desire to have 2 weeks go by without
those calls happening.
Mostly I wouldn’t see playing fair in this light. Mostly,
that is, up until Now. Something is shifting in me, and on top of all that has
already shifted, it’s a considerable drift. I’m pleased with myself and proud
of myself for honouring myself in this way.
And I am surprised. This is so NOT like what I would have
considered Me BEing Me…
However odd it might seem to me, I like this sort of playing
fair.
I love you, Currie
1 comment:
Yes, wonderful textures and colors. Greetings.
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