Somedays I really resent the idea of checking in. Of having to account for myself. It feels like I don’t matter, only what I DO or DO NOT DO matters.
But resentment is NOT a luxury I can afford, so I have taken this notion in another direction. I like to check in with myself Now. To let ME know what I’ve been thinkingandfeeling and up to and on about.
Other things I participate in, whether this exchange of Gratitude or an artist challenge online, seem to have taken checking in far far away from that old reporting in idea.
Frankly… it’s nice just knowing anyone’s interested. That they actually care. That in some way, however sized, I really am making some difference.
Probably a LOT of my former perspective on checking in was due to my 3 weirdest years from 13 to 16, jobs where I had to punch in and punch out, and good old-fashioned unhealthy ways of BEing in relationship.
But the thing about pointing at those is that I am NOT taking responsibility for my own attitudes, Then or Now, when I label them thus. So this is why I like to check in with myself. To see what I have going on and what thoughts might I BE operating under the influence of.
I love you, Currie