We’re constantly changing facts, rewriting history to
make things easier, to make them fit in with our preferred version of events.
We do it automatically. We invent memories. Without thinking. If we tell
ourselves something happened often enough we start to believe it, and then we
can actually remember it. [S.J. Watson, Before I Go To Sleep]
It is tiring to navigate my brain today. I want things to go
quietly and read somewhere. Disappear for Now. Just a wee tiny rest. But today
is already set and I must accommodate this brain OR sit here and have a pout
like a 2-year old.
The thing I am stuck with is how things get left hanging out
there. A call NOT returned. An email with no response. Promises but no deliveries.
It is largely Trust and Faith that pull me through the day. Yet I feel dubious
and sort of silly leaning on them Right Now.
Why EVER would things change Now?! I’ve quite a few people
with whom I would like to connect, or mayBE correct what we remember of each
other. Of an instant and even of years and years together with secrets and even
lies.
Cancer seems to BE bringing out some other parts of Me,
parts I thought long gone.
Over. Done.
Wrong again.
I love you, Currie
1 comment:
In times of crisis or trauma people learn about who they really are. We all have our shadows and light. It's in the darkest times we truly locate that inextinguishable light inside of us. :)
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