We’re constantly changing facts, rewriting history to make things easier, to make them fit in with our preferred version of events. We do it automatically. We invent memories. Without thinking. If we tell ourselves something happened often enough we start to believe it, and then we can actually remember it. [S.J. Watson, Before I Go To Sleep]
It is tiring to navigate my brain today. I want things to go quietly and read somewhere. Disappear for Now. Just a wee tiny rest. But today is already set and I must accommodate this brain OR sit here and have a pout like a 2-year old.
The thing I am stuck with is how things get left hanging out there. A call NOT returned. An email with no response. Promises but no deliveries. It is largely Trust and Faith that pull me through the day. Yet I feel dubious and sort of silly leaning on them Right Now.
Why EVER would things change Now?! I’ve quite a few people with whom I would like to connect, or mayBE correct what we remember of each other. Of an instant and even of years and years together with secrets and even lies.
Cancer seems to BE bringing out some other parts of Me, parts I thought long gone.
I love you, Currie