Currie's Gratitude 29 September 2014

Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.  [Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons]

It is hard, this time straightaway after chemo. It reminds me of how hard I have always tried to hold on. How when I’ve had something or someone wrenched from me, I have wanted nothing so much as to curl up in a ball and call it a day.

But Life has taught me new and other lessons about Letting Go. It’s never MY first choice, I promise you that, though often I have wished I could claim BEing the instigator. But each time, Now, I am able to lean into last times and times BEfore that.

Letting Go isn’t so hard as it is difficult. It asks so much of me, far more than I think I could possibly have to give.

So I try always to stay prepared.

I love you, Currie