Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Currie's Gratitude 2 September 2014

Fortunately, disappointments have little to do with circumstance and everything to do with perspective. Everything.  [www.tut.com]

Gracie and I had the best walk this morning. It’s the first time that I’ve felt my body moving and it did NOT feel weird, foreign, NOT mine.

Then I got irritated, annoyed, bothered by buzzing mosquito-thoughts.

I hate this feeling sick and weak and tired and crankypants. I hate that I have sharp edges and sometimes don’t care about the things and the people I care about. I hate that I worry and try to work things out. [aka control outcomes]

I hate the word HATE. And yet here I have used it 5 times. But that is what is true for me Right This Minute.

It is all about perspective. And when the chemo is DOing its thing and bringing on its myriad circumstances, I am NOT the one in control. AND, I am NOT the one who is pretty awful either. But it is hard to remember that all the times I need to remember that.

And Round 3 BEgins tomorrow… So: I will enJOY this good walk feeling; and this feeling like myself again, where things taste, [and even taste delicious]; and people just make me smile and feel glad we are sharing this Time and Space together.

I love you, Currie


tl said...

You know what I LOVE about NOT receiving Currie's Gratitude in my email inbox every morning? That I am receiving Currie's LOVE each morning instead. Well - Gratitude, LOVE - it's all the same really and I LOVE receiving it. I hope you feel my LOVE as well...t

Carol said...

So glad you had a good walk!!! Today I will be cleaning my art desk and work area .... I may get lost... so don't panic if you don't hear from me later today :)
Sending LOVE ...the Greatest of all Powers♥♥♥♥♥

Rita said...

How long are you on this roller coaster ride?
Glad you are feeling better and out walking with Gracie! Love and hugs! :)