Currie's Gratitude 31 January 2013

It’s a curious thing to find myself Here, Now. One month done with. Completed. Savoured, really, though the time has passed in what feels like merely a blink…

Stay the course. I am unsure of the inspiration for this. We learn, early on, [or at least I learned this very early on] that commitment isn’t permanent. Changing course, taking off in an entirely new direction, these are things encouraged. Expected. Accepted.

As I have reflected and reconsidered and explored my own commitments, I have been surprised at the loyalty in me. I have stayed. [okay, too long, yes, I know] When it would have been simpler [mayBE wiser as well] to GO, I have stayed.

Always there is a Hope inside me. A Hope of reconciliation. Of arriving in the place we call The End where, as T.S. Eliot said… the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

I am staying the course of my own Life. Perhaps that is the piece I was missing, BEing so loyal and trying so hard to make those broken pieces whole again.

There is an arc to my Life that deserves my dedication and loyalty. A path which unfolds gently into the Journey that is, simply, My Life.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 30 January 2013

What DO you think Ride Full Out means?! I mean, what might it mean to YOU Right Now?! I ask only to invite you to consider it and NOT BEcause of my incessant curiosity!!

This year has BEgun with an earnestness I have rarely witnessed in myself. MayBE it is deliberate, and perhaps I am DOing or BEing some ways [or NOT DOing or NOT BEing some ways] in which I have NOT BEfore.

MayBE I am just growing into the comfortable forgetting part of my Life.

It could BE…

In any event, I have forgotten my fears and Let Go of self-doubt and my never quenched thirst for the approval, agreement, and support of those who will NEVER give those things to me.

Ever. [which you would think I’d have realised long ago or at least stopped my magical thinking…]

It turns out that I really don’t care so much anymore about anyone else “getting me” so much as I care that I AM “getting me” and that God is, as Karen is fond of saying, “DOing the heavy lifting.” Which in itself is all the real approval, agreement, and support anyone really needs.

Ahhhhhhh… wisdom BEgins to peek past the transom.

I am leaning into Life, riding full out… sometimes with no hands on the handlebars!!!

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 29 January 2013

Listen, just listen.

You will hear it.

You need only to listen…

I listen, Now, more than all of my Life up until Now. Whether I am listening to the sound of a light and uncertain rain, like Now, or the ticking of the clock, also Now, or the faint hum of the ceiling fan, again, Now, or the space that is without the trains and their whistles... When I remove the distraction of music or talking, when I come to my Writing Practise open and willing, and when I listen, just listen… I discover amazing things.

I discover there are things I’m thinkingandfeeling that don’t fit inside words. Even sounds. Things BEyond expressing, I have only to trust that I know what I am hearing in that space.

As long as I listen.

I spent a huge chunk of yesterday trying to make the piece of art I managed to make this morning. The difference, I BElieve, was listening to my What If I??? and MayBE I Could Try??? and then allowing myself to LISTEN to what happened then. To listen, just listen.

It is this way, too, when listening to God. When BEing listened to, especially by God.

I am quite accomplished at complication and convolution. Muddying waters. Stirring up the quiet sands BEneath my surface.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 28 January 2013

Dare to BE thought a fool

Dare to BE wrong and even silly

Ridiculous

To BE Nobody

To BE Nobody’s Somebody

To BE forgotten or simply BE NOT remembered

Dare yourself

Dare to BE what you fear

Somedays I am silly and others serious. Today is one of the Somewhere In BEtween The Extremes and it is fine. Somedays I am Just Like This. And really, no one is even keeping score!!

Dare to BE. What would YOU dare to BE if… if NOT for?! If ONLY?!

Dare to BE nobody special and to simply DO what you can. That is my great hope. For almost all my Life I have lived with the delusion that I need to BE Something and Somebody. And really, it’s all nonsense. I have seen this. I have discovered it in the space BEtween disappointments.

All I need BE is Me. All I need Dare is Everything. I am certain. Surer in fact of this than I have been of anything EVER in my Whole Life. I am NOT in training for something NOR am I practising to BEcome “better” or “more” or even “accomplished.” I DO BEcause I CAN. I CAN BEcause I DO. Nothing confusing about it at all I see… Now.

I Dare only and always to BE Me.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 27 January 2013

Follow your own music

Beat your own drum

And make it up

As you go along

Live in sweet harmony

With all your Life

I’ve heard it said that we each march to our own beat. That we are a gazillion different points of energy colliding and yet we all keep on going. I suppose that is what I mean by Harmonise with Life.

We all have a unique perspective. No one can KNOW what another’s consciousness knows in precisely the same way. So there needs to BE Trust and a BElief in something greater. Something far greater.

It is a curious thing to live Life with your mind open. To dive deep and NOT worry about how far to the bottom. To simply BE in the sea completely.

As I grow and change and bloom Here, and Now, where I am at Present “re-planted,” I have to work hard to stay where my feet are. This is BEcause my mind is NOT so “grounded” and fixed to Time and Place.

This is my harmony. How I can, all on my own, sing in 3 or 4 or even 7-part harmony, and somehow reach each note without one cancelling out another. Without one reaching over the others to BE louder or another hiding, hoping NOT to BE missed.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 26 January 2013

I have a voice to use it

NOT to squash it

Or silence myself

I really am enJOYing the prompts I’ve made for myself this month. I find myself each morning taking time and really considering them. When I write, I am surprised that I tell myself deeper truths than I’ve even let myself think BEfore.

And then I come here. To Gratitude. To share. “Out loud.”

Like a several course meal, each piece of my Morning Practise stands on its own. In BEtween writing there is fiddling, as with this seahorse. Along the same lines as drawing over and over and over again the giraffe I shared yesterday, these colouring pages from Doodle Art Alley are teaching me other kinds of process and patience with myself as I practise them.

Often it is NOT the results or outcomes that count for me. It is the process and my progress through it that I care most about.

There is a deep and tender Gratitude growing in me for the way things work and how they play. Where previously I have rushed and been in a hurry to “get there,” Now I am content to BE Present for each step along My Journey.

I cherish learning and deeper understanding. True, whether these come with action or simply from BEing.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 25 January 2013

Prepare

BE Prepared

Encouraging words for guidance

Remembered words well-used

And yet…

Prepare For Wonder?!

That’s all my own recipe for Life.

I am sharing 2 giraffes this morning BEcause it’s my prerogative!!! Actually, they are one and the same, with one, the one on the bottom, inverted. As January rolls on I am daily amazed at the learning of drawing. NOT, mind you, that I drew this one. Or at least drew it from scratch. NO… This I drew over and over and over again to teach my hand and mayBE, too, my brain, HOW-TO draw a giraffe.

I used to help college students from an array of different countries learn to write much the same way. They studied things which I knew little or nothing about, Public Administration is one that comes to mind. So I wrote, essays, research papers, and the like “for them to learn from.” They were each brilliant BEyond my reach, so I encouraged them, guided them to BE so brilliant in English.

Applied to Life As I Know It Now, drawing over and over and over again this colouring page giraffe has let my hands and eyes feel and see the proper proportions of the giraffe. I have learned by copying and frankly, that’s an amazing and effective way to learn…

I love you, Currie