Tuesday, April 14, 2015

14 April 2015


I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.   [C. JoyBell C.]

I think this is what’s been happening in me. Living each of my days to the fullest, even when the fullest is NOT fun.

I love my hospice people. They encourage me, explain things so I understand what’s going on in my body, and NEVER EVER NOT ONCE have they made me wish I’d just kept my yap shut.

This pain is painful but it’s also something else. It’s a deepening experience of humility. The realisation that this is as much part of Life as anything keeps me from too much moaning. Still, my secret spot has been found. I admit to feeling arrows are BEing thrown at my right shoulder. Even when I know better.

Thanks for listening.


I love you, Currie

17 comments:

Rita said...

Oh, Sweetie! I am so glad you have such wonderful, caring people around you. That stabbing, knife pain is the worst. Talk about being pulled into the present moment and also being forced to try to lift yourself above the physical...just to endure. Kindness is a priceless gift. *love and gentle hugs*

Ellen MikaBrown said...

Always here to listen.

Carol said...

Love that your Hospice people are so great. Most of them are angels. Pulling yourself up and through the pain takes a lot of energy but so glad that you keep making it here ♥ Sending you Love & Strength & Healing of Spirit. Peace my Friend.

pauline said...

oh, my dearest Currie. I am glad to hear you have people around you who love you - and your courage never ceases to amaze me. I am sad that you are living this pain - but your OWN words on this pain bring me a strange comfort... that it is *a deepening experience of humility*. I hold you close to my heart these days. xx

DtG said...

To all who have found their way to the magical mystery who was my little sister, I thought you should know that she passed on to an even more wondrous place yesterday.

Her art gave her great joy, and helped sustain her to the last; as did those of you who were touched by her gentle, vibrant spirit.

-Ward Silver

Unknown said...

Thank you Ward for letting us know. I am so happy to have some of her art on my walls. Your sister was a wonderful person and will be greatly missed.

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drew said...

Thank you, Ward, for letting us know.

I "knew" her briefly, through this blog, and was touched by her willingness to be so honest and true.

Peace be with you.

- Drew

Ellen MikaBrown said...

I had been meeting Currie through swaps for several years and I had followed her blogs. We also corresponded through email some and I was troubled by her silence in the last few weeks. I am so sorry for your loss, Ward and I am also going to miss her tremendously. Currie touched my life in so many ways, with her art and her way of writing just the right topic for my day. We never met in person, but I would know her anywhere. I am thankful she is no longer in pain. May you be well, happy and at peace yourself. I am happy that I have her old posts to read and connect. Namaste.

Nancy M said...

Ward,I have followed your sister's comments for a couple of years. I've been worried about her the past few weeks and appreciate your letting us know that she had passed. She was a special soul -- and had a wonderful way with words and her art. She will be missed by many.

Jody said...

Hi Ward. I was Barb's counselor at Northway her first summer there. We spent an evening together in downtown Chicago during the Democratic Convention in 1968. And we were fortunate to reconnect more recently for dinner a couple of times in Florida. What a woman! I'm filled with sadness and also warm memories.

minnemie said...

Oh...I am so sad and so sorry...thinking of you all in your loss...and what a loss...Currie has been such a kind and encouraging blogging friend...I came to see how she was doing...now she is healed and without pain...but we will miss her...

Jill E. Vaile said...

I knew your sister as one knows their own heart. We shared things on so many parallel planes that we often laughed about it. And the beauty of our walk in life is something I cherish most dearly. We knew, towards the end, her journey would separate us on this worldly path, and she was so full of grace, and love, right up to our last words.

Take comfort in her beauty, her clarity, her gifts, both what she has left behind tangibly and that which has been etched on your heart.

Currie, you were most beloved.

Jill E. Vaile

Carol said...

There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss your sister ♥ I read her emails we shared and look at her art and know that there is a SPECIAL ANGEL out there watching over us and directing our steps in a gentle and kind way that is her. She is missed.

Miriam said...

Ive been missing my dear blogging friend so much, I came here today selfishly, for some comfort from her.
I am sorry for your loss, your sister was a beautiful lady. I have some of her in my heart.

Carol said...

It's hard to believe that it's been over two years since Currie became our angel . I still get messages in the wind from her and think of her strength and bravery often. Missing her still. ♥