Currie's Gratitude 7 June 2013

It never occurred to me how hard it is for me to say WHEN. To DO so is so absolute. Clear.

If I’d learned, growing up, to think of this in the way I DO Now, I’m fairly certain my Life would have seen much more peace and contentment.

Instead, I have BElieved that Life is Difficult. That I need to BE scrappy. That putting up with and/or ignoring are ideals to aspire to.

I love the line in Regarding Henry where Henry’s secretary reminds him that when he’s got enough in his tea cup he needs to say “When.” BEcause it is one of those simple and straightforward learnings.

It’s far more essential with relationships and in the day-to-dayness of ordinary living to know when it is WHEN and to communicate it clearly.

Especially to myself. This is my sticking point. The place the wheels fall off my little red wagon…

WHEN is it time to ask for help?! WHEN is it time to let something go?! WHEN have I had quite Enough, even more than Enough?!

Saying WHEN might mean The End to communication. Or BEing willing to have a door close and BE on the other side of it. 

That, well, frankly that is often enough to keep me from saying “When.”

How about YOU?! 

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 6 June 2013

How simple can one’s story BE?! I’ve often wondered BEcause my own story seems to have so many footnotes and references. How I’d love to make it straightforward and utterly without need of explanation.

A troubling aspect of my story is how rigidly defined I can feel BEcause of it. How I would love to break out of its timelines and wrongthinking [on my part] about how I am limited and powerless in the face of it.

How about YOU?! What is your story?! Is it simple and straightforward or weighed-down by tangents and clarifications?! I’d like to know, really. Of course, only if you’d like to share it with me.

If I could tell my story, my very own version, from Here Right Now, I’d like it to BE short and sweet. I’d leave the detailing out. I wouldn’t burden it with technicolour or enhanced anything.

I am trying to live that story Now. Or, rather, I intend to live Now in as simple a way as I can so that, really, there is no story.

I know that is naïve and so BE it.  It’s my Life, after all.

Actually, I’m NOT so sure that my “story” is anything that needs telling. I’m just Here, DOing what I DO and BEing who I BE.

That’s enough. 

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 5 June 2013

Sounds like the simplest of things to DO, but Letting Go is really, and I DO mean REALLY hard. It’s a lot like getting caught up in that spidery web of attic insulation, you know, the pink or yellow stuff?! Really challenges one’s capabilities in a Very Large Way.

I’ve thought I was good at this at times. Thought I had it down. Nailed. In the bag.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And did I mention, WRONG?!

I recently thought back to an important relationship I had in the early part of the 80’s. What struck me was how I was certain I would NEVER EVER BE able to let that go and, somehow, without even trying, I’d practically forgotten it altogether.

BUT…

That is NOT what I call Letting Go. That is more than anything, a deep pocket where memory slipped itself in and away.

Letting Go is more the in-your-face stuff. For me, a big one recently was letting my car, GraceLand, go 14 months ago. [and I sold it to the guy next door!!!]

Totally, oh, and completely changed the entire game of How I Live Life Now. While most days I see this car, I no longer think of it as GraceLand. Or mine.

Would that it BE so with people.

Ahhhhhhh… Would it BE so. 

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 4 June 2013

I was pretty deliberate with this prompt. I see that Now. It is often hard for me to NOT substitute ALWAYS in place of whenever possible.

Yet it is only through understanding my limitations, imagined or intimately acquainted with, that I have come to understand that whenever does NOT equal ALWAYS.

Stepping up will sometimes, perhaps often, mean DOing Nothing. Or at least NOT DOing some certain something.

It can also mean standing still, standing firm, BEing Present, or just standing alone. Like the cheese stands alone in the Farmer and the Dell.

Stepping and standing are NOT the same except sometimes they CAN BE similar. Stepping up to acceptance of a thing, BEing the first to blink, or simply standing down…

I’ve tried in my Life to BE someone who isn’t afraid to BE the only one standing. 

And sometimes I have even succeeded in this; yet never once have I NOT felt fear and a significant amount of embarrassment when stepping up. Even in a crowd.

There’s that rush of whatever it is that courses through me, and I feel a little lightheaded. It’s hard to swallow. It feels like I am going to fall. My face either flushes or drains of colour.

Still, whenever I possibly CAN, I DO step up.

Even when I’m alone.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 3 June 2013

I’ve never forgotten this early “goal/lesson” from Kindergarten report cards. 

Plays well with others?! 

DO I need improvement in this?! 

Is it possible I play BETTER with others when I’ve ample time by myself?!

At this point in my Life I have learned myself much better. 

I have discovered my love of Solitude. 

Seen myself flourish BEyond anything I’ve ever managed whilst spending copious amounts of time in my own company.

I’m NOT saying I don’t play well with others generally, just that in order to really DO this I require time with just myself. 

Quiet time. Unordered time. Time that I choose to fill my own way.

It is clear that playing well with others is a positive. A desired thing.

And when I DO have that chance I LOVE IT BEyond words.

And yet my time is spent largely with myself.

This has helped me learn to BE my own cherished friend. 

Someone I make and take and find the time for and enJOY the time with.

Someone I play “nicely” with, share my toys and cookies with easily…

At the same time [though it’s NOT the same same time] I strive to BE as kind with friends, neighbours, and all whom I meet when I am out there having my tiny adventures close to home. 

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 2 June 2013

It is always the Right Thing to BE encouraging. To uplift, support, and in turn empower the best in another.

Criticism and BElittling only tear the spirit apart, undermine, and ultimately break another, even if that is NOT the intention.

While some DO make a decent case for constructive criticism, I think criticism, when I am DOing it, comes straight and undiluted from my own unfathomable need for approval.

It is never constructive, either to me or another. It only digs my heels in deeper to that impossible addiction to endorsement.

There is a sense that we only get this once to BE who we are, despite the idea of an afterlife or multiple lives, so I am choosing to BE an Encourager, to commit myself wholeheartedly to empowering those whose paths and mine cross.

To catch people DOing things well and right and good and amazing, really. It’s so very much more pleasant to live in this Light than in the shadow of that critical and judgmental one.

I’ve certainly NOT always been like this, and it is clearly a decision I make again each day, and often several times during the day, especially those where I’m granted the opportunity to feel superior.

Given a DO-over, I’d gladly choose this way instead of any other I took…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 1 June 2013

While NOT every day is filled full and brimming over with Adventure, a tiny bit of imagination and a large scoop of willingness usually brings plenty enough to the everyday for me. 

This is worthy of Gratitude.

BEing ready for Adventure is simply BEing open to whatever happens. 

After all, it’s ALL a gift, a small but essential fact of Life I often forget.

Most days I wake up eager to BEgin, even in the dark of still very much nighttime. 

I look forward to what the day will pour out. 

I lean into it with everything I’ve got, even when that makes me feel downright silly!!

On those days when I am more reluctant, when I am worried about something [usually far into the Future and definitely NOT in Today] or NOT feeling particularly well, I just build in kindness and treat myself as I would a cherished friend.

Often it is those times, when I see myself as I see others, that I grow MORE adventurous and am able to bend with the wind. 

I think kindness toward myself is an essential ingredient for this more adventurous Life I seek to inspire. 

Who knew?!

Anything and any day, even a “bad day” can BEcome an Adventure.

With the right outlook. 

And an open heart.

BE ready…

I love you, Currie