Everything,' his father said, 'comes down to time in the end--to the passing of time, to changing. Ever thought of that? Anything that makes you happy or sad, isn't it all based on minutes going by? Isn't sadness wishing time back again? Even big things--even mourning a death: aren't you really just wishing to have the time back when that person was alive? Or photos--ever notice old photographs? How wistful they make you feel? ... Isn't it just that time for once is stopped that makes you wistful? If only you could turn it back again, you think. If only you could change this or that, undo what you have done, if only you could roll the minutes the other way, for once. [Anne Tyler, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant]
Sometimes I catch myself bargaining and planning stronger offers. I set aside one conviction or another to entertain an entirely different and decidedly odd idea. And sometimes it floats.
But remarkably, when the ideas don’t float, or even when they DO, even sort of, I am always aware that holding on is NOT an option. NOT really. Even though I have always BElieved myself able to DO it…
I don’t have any big un-DO button envy. I am okay to live with what I’ve lived.
I love you, Currie