Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present. [John Green, Looking for Alaska]
It’s odd realising how much I’ve lived Life on a kind of autopilot. I was going somewhere with that thought but Now I forget where that was.
I am still tired today after a day of did NOT get out of my jammies at all all day yesterday. So much more to include in my days. I expect myself to DO the Right Things, then I get tired and foggy=brained and generally start feeling bad.
But that doesn’t work anymore. I don’t want to spend my days [or nights] feeling NOT Enough AND Too Much, so I am DOing everything I know NOT to escape, go anywhere else BUT here, and BE Present,
if only me by myself. That’s just fine. Would I like company?! Occasionally, yes, I would, but only in bits and NOT too many people at the same time.
I don’t really understand things or myself so clinically. Guess that I’m trying to explain it to myself?!?
I love you, Currie