Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Currie's Gratitude 22 October 2014


Here is one way to understand the relationships in a circle of trust: they combine unconditional love, or regard, with hopeful expectancy, creating a space that both safeguards and encourages the inner journey. In such a space, we are freed to hear our own truth, touch what brings us joy, become self-critical about our faults, and take risky steps toward change—knowing that we will be accepted no matter what the outcome.   [Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness]

I might BE in the hardest part of this Journey. Or mayBE I am just cranky and tired and feeling out of sorts.

I feel nothing but fear at taking steps, risky ones and sensible ones alike. I don’t know where any “circle of trust” exists in my Real World. There are circles all right, but they don’t strike me as places to find either safety or encouragement.

I was utterly stunned to read about Quaker Clearness Committees yesterday. I came to see that all that I want is to know that I am safe to try BEcause with safety I could stop berating and shaming myself for all that I’ve fallen short on.

My writing has fallen off. I am unsure of myself. I am scared. I feel I’ve BEcome a bother and nuisance. Enough already.

Love?! No matter what?!


I love you, Currie

3 comments:

drew said...

Currie,

Your self-accounting and willingness to stand alone and vulnerable are admirable, even enviable.

Thank you.

Drew

Rita said...

If they are honest, everyone has periods of self-doubt and weakness. You are strong enough to admit it. And you have damn good reason to feel worn out and vulnerable, woman. Hang in there. *love and hugs*

Carol said...

Insecurities are not a sign of weakness ...facing the unknown and even the known can be a frightening experience. Recognition is a strength to be admired . It's ok to be scared and unsure... but never consider yourself a bother or a nuisance.... that's just plain "HOGWASH!"
Love ya and sending massive HUGS .