In my experience, anger and frustration are the result of you not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life. Being fake about anything creates a block inside of you. Life can’t work for you if you don’t show up as you. [Jason Mraz]
I hit a wall head-on yesterday. I’m still frustrated. I’m still angry, though it is a sort of free-floating anger, or mayBE it is that I am angry with myself. With my reaction. With my frustration.
Mum fell. It didn’t have to happen, but it did. So there it is. Just the facts.
I was right there, but I couldn’t stop her fall, and I couldn’t pick her up. Even if she has lost 50+ pounds. So thank goodness for an alert button I pushed [handily placed in the bathroom, right next to where she landed, on her knees] and for Larry, who came and got her up…
All of her recent sweetness and her oft-expressed appreciation for me seemed to vanish after this. And I’d hurt myself, too, with the rushing about and trying to “fix” things. That frustrates me. That I am limited. That I canNOT take care of my mother.
I don’t know that I’m grateful for frustration. Or my anger. I’m just trying to BE me.
I love you, Currie