Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. [Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet]
Sometimes in Life I've read or heard something and for every moment past that reading or hearing I have kept it close. Accessible.
Rilke’s words broke through my despair over the unanswered questions I have. He gave me a strong branch to hold onto.
When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of 'No answer.' It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, 'Peace, child; you don't understand.’ [C.S. Lewis]
There is tremendous JOY in having questions, even those I’ve never uttered aloud.
There is as much JOY in NOT having answers that I can hear or read in black and white.
I love you, Currie