Currie's Gratitude 7 August 2012

BE Light Ó2012 Currie Silver

BE Light and your Life is a gentler Journey.

BE Light and trust things to come into BEing in their own way and time.

BE Light and give Life the space to bloom.

BE Light and take things as they come.

BE Light and loosen your grip on HOW.

BE Light and find the path that is there just for you.

BE Light and live with a heart that has wings.

BE Light and take a risk.

BE Light and then BE Lighter still.

BE Light and Learn how to Let Go.

BE Light and discover your Light.

Oh how VERY MANY times have I been told to “lighten up.”  MayBE this isn’t just an admonishment that I’ve received. Still, it feels a bit weird as I think on it this early morning. Sort of like grabbing a kid roughly and telling him or her to “play nice.”

It’s strange how often I recall that phrase BEing levelled at me in anger and loudly.

MayBE I am living too much in my head again…

I am grateful, actually, that I am able to look at this slice of My Life with some humour and grace. To see how much what I point out is exactly what I, too, have done, in my way…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 6 August 2012

BE Quiet Ó2012 Currie Silver

BE Quiet

Listen

Lean into

The sounds

Of Life

It’s true that Today I consider myself a quiet person. I’m sure that anyone who knows me in-person and has spent time with me would roll their eyes and mayBE NOT hold back their laughter. And yet, just as age has had its way with refining ME, so, too, has living alone changed some of the fundamental aspects of Who/How I AM.

I’ve had quite a bit of worry and fretfulness lately. Sometimes, though I DO stand by what I write, I write too much. Awareness of this tendency has initiated the worrying and fretting.

I am always listening, but oftentimes it is what is BEing batted about in BEtween my ears that I am listening to. And too closely, too.

Even when I meditate, there is clatter nattering, and listening is difficult.

BEing a quieter person, Now, in this passage, I forget to remember that one person canNOT take in all that I have to say “out loud.” BEcause I am listening, really listening, to EVERYthing, I am finding that less said, less written, and less NEEDING to share what I am thinkingandfeeling is where I want to stand, tall and unafraid.

I am grateful I can look and see this so clearly.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 5 August 2012

BE Generous Ó2012 Currie Silver

Even when [you are sure] it doesn’t matter

Or seem to BE noticed

BE Generous.

I’ve been busy in my brain lately. I want something “more” that is actually “less” but I canNOT seem to find the way through the Maze of Incompletion that is my World at the moment. Many of my connections, despite my sincere and earnest intention to strengthen them, are frayed and feeling far BEyond my grasp.

Sometimes, when I wake especially early, like I did today, I think it’s so I can BE Still and Listen. And yet there seems only to BE noise and static, and the things I visualise turn into blurry pixel-ish images. There is a sort of form but nothing I can decipher completely.

I had so different a Life with those I love in mind when I moved East in 2009. I eventually Let Go of “making it happen,” forcing it to fit my frame. I learned to bend with the wind, to BE like the Willow tree I so admire. Yet here I find myself, far oftener than just once in a while, sure that I have been TOO Generous, too quick to accept less by calling it enough.

MayBE that isn’t even close to what BE Generous means. I don’t know…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 4 August 2012

BE Just The Way You Are Ó2012 Currie Silver 

BEcause nobody else

Can possibly BE it the way YOU can…

BEing just how I am has never been the most thrilling thing I can imagine BEing. In fact, it has some pretty huge cracks in it. [mayBE Leonard Cohen was on to something when he said that’s how the light gets in?!]

And yet there is another voice within me. The one who has never lived out loud, the cheerleader, the jumping up and down and rah-rah-rah-ing Currie. She is one of those “inner inhabitants” who has a voice but NOT really a face, or a body I have walked round in.

And while all that I have said is true, and I BElieve in it completely, there is also a HUGE part of me who feels like a mistake, an error, and truly an aberration. I’ve had a run of “events” the past 6 or 7 years of trying to “fit in” and “find my place” in larger groupings. [even in a small one, but I won’t go there.]

This has me wondering lately, What is it that BElonging and BEing a part of this, that, or the other group/s holds that I want/ed so much?!

And frankly, I canNOT tell you, or even myself…

Oh well…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 3 August 2012

BE Playful Ó2012 Currie Silver

BE Playful

Seriousness

Acting like a grown-up

Both are over-rated

BE Playful

Meet Life with an open heart

Take it all more lightly.

I had such a wonderful morning yesterday. The 3 kids in the front house came in back while their mom was kind and brave and whacking the green [aka WEED GROWTH] away. She has made the weed whacker work, but without the cover so things blow here and there and it’s generally NOT safe to BE near it. I’d been cutting them, raking the dead leaves, and pondering cutting back the branches that have overgrown their nifty corners into jungles.

Suddenly, I was in a little bit of Heaven. All 3 are very talkative, though Jack is the MOST talkative and constantly asking questions that leave me thinking. They were discovering all the magic surrounding the Wee Cottage, including watching Gracie through the windows as she tried and tried to get out there with us.

Though it was hotter than makes any sense so early in the morning, I stopped noticing, stopped caring. We discovered BEautimous yellow “flowers” and some magical pinkish-red ones. We found shells and wondered aloud about the circular stones round the sad little palm.

I think this is WHY I love/d BEing a teacher. Yes indeedie!!!

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 2 August 2012

BE Kind Ó2012 Currie Silver

BE Kind

Just BE Kind

There’s nothing like Kindness

For mending what is broken

And who.

I’m someone who imagines she is kind yet who knows how hard it is to even muster a good thought for someone, especially someone I associate reflexively with an old and deep hurt, humiliation, or devastation to ME.

BEing Kind when I have been hurt, humiliated, and/or devastated takes far more than I BElieve I could EVER have to DO this. I’m far from that strong. In fact, it is something of a trademark of mine. Somehow I learned early and deep to hold onto pain and unkindness and let it act as a buffer to further hurt, humiliation, and/or devastation.

The insanity of such a notion always seems to live on the sidelines, laughing, jeering, and blowing raspberries in my general direction. I don’t know that I learned this so well earlier on, but I DO know I have it down pat Now.

Lately I have been aware of something in me falling away. Like Gracie shedding, it all feels so normal, ordinary, even natural. But there is something still holding me back, and I think it is there more for protection or preservation. I don’t know, YET, who or what will eventually win me over…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 1 August 2012

BE X-Ray Visual Ó2012 Currie Silver 

                

See what you dream of

See it with clarity

Know it matters NOT

HOW

Only that you SEE it.

Today is the official start-date of my Summer Holidays. Last year I took the month of August for just BEing and, funny thing, it carried on, well, some of it did, and this year I also got all of July after the 12^th.

That BEing the case, I also needed something for art-making and poeming. Well, yesterday I continued my sift-and-sort of my many, oh so many, waxed bags of bits and words and I made up some larger “background” and “cut-out” pages on the scanner. I think this is perhaps my favourite part of BEing a collage/mixed-media artist. It’s the part I refer to as “digital-fiddling” and it’s full and overflowing with happy accidents and BEautimous mistakes.

BE X-Ray Visual refers to one of the “chapters” of a course I’m creating called Plan BE. Of course, I could have gone alphabetically, but that wouldn’t have been near as tempting as giving my birdbrain a higher hurdle for these early morning writing Adventures!!

Imagine a time BEfore X-Rays. BEfore so much I know I take for granted. How could anyone dream up the wondrous and magical World we Now enJOY every single minute?!

I love you, Currie