Currie's Gratitude 7 July 2012

Cherish. Notice. Remember. Ó2012 Currie Silver

Cherish with all your heart

Notice the tiny, seemingly insignificant

Everything

And Remember Love, Kindness

And the wonder of BEing

Cherished. Noticed. Remembered.

Cherishing. Noticing. Remembering.

It wasn’t all that long ago that I BEgan to “cherish” the word Cherish. To want to make it a word in my thinking, perhaps moreso than speaking or writing. Its synonyms are treasure, take pleasure in, appreciate, value, and relish. How amazing, really, when prior to thinking I wanted to make this word one of my own I’d only associated it with a song from a Very Long Time Ago.

It was by noticing what I experienced when I felt “cherished” that I came to the edge of all I thought I knew about Love. Well, about BEing loved, in particular and at first. Then I noticed more and more that there was a HUGE difference BEtween what and who and how I cherished and who, what, and how I was cherished. It was slippery and hard to get my footing there, and I responded to this in a clumsy and awkward way. I caused pain. To others. To myself. To possibilities for friendship.

I remember my awkward clumsiness. And I remind myself that I want to notice and remember what I learned about Cherish…

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 6 July 2012

Accept The Rhythms Of Earth & Humanity

                                               Ó2012 Currie Silver

Accepting Life is always the way

Or so I have learned

Again and Again

By NOT DOing this.

I laugh at my thoughtiness some mornings, coming to this writing, to this primary effort at connecting the dots of my Life in some way that might possibly make sense. It’s good that I am NOT fully awake yet, that I am just going through the motions and DOing what I DO here every morning.

I suppose that I have learned the most by DOing what was counter to simple Acceptance. Sometimes I have fiddled, played with the colours and shapes, as in the piece above, but in Real Life there is NOT an Undo command, no Backspace, no Delete. When I act, speak, write, DO a thing there it is, DONE.

I COULD make some changes here, Now, BEfore I copy and paste this to send and then to publish. I could and sometimes DO make edits as I go or reread, but the thing I know is that when I trust what comes up first, without guile cutting in, I dance the best. I show up most truly as ME, whatever anyone at any time may think of that [including Me].

Starting from Acceptance is a good plan.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 5 July 2012

Discover New Ways To BE

Ó2012 Currie Silver

Try

BE Willing

Trust

Lean Into It

Leap

Discover Something New

BE Bold

It’s so funny how Life and we, ourselves, Change constantly, consistently, and yet there is still the illusion that we can hold it off, resist it entirely, or BE in control of it happening.

I’ve been choosing [or letting myself BE chosen BY] a word for the year since 2010. That year it was Simplify, and how chaotically did I both get simpler and find the simplified Life BEcoming mine. I was still thinking, then, I suppose, that I had some control over my “chosen” word. That I chose IT rather than IT choosing ME.

2011’s was Visible and did THAT ever choose ME!!! So no surprise when 2012 presented me with Discipline.

Some of Discipline’s synonyms are order, punishment, control, restraint, authority, but that’s NOT the sort of Discipline I’m learning about at all. MayBE, in some respects, I am, but mostly what I am seeing is that Discipline is that elusive “easier and softer way” to live a Life of which I am NOT ashamed. This sort of surprised me when I first caught onto it, my shame about how I live, how I have lived, yet with Discipline that is changing every single day.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 4 July 2012

Say Yes.EnJOY Change. Ó2012 Currie Silver

Say YES.

Open your heart.

Trust that what is IS for good

EnJOY Life, all of it

Changes and everything else.

How funny it is, as I am writing, that the song from Wicked, For Good, just popped onto my Pandora Quickmix. It’s a song that has inspired a good bit of my writing and art-making the past couple of years. I take it as a nod from the Universe that I am Right Where I Need To BE.

I have spent a Very Large Chunk of the past 6 years resisting Change. EnJOY it?! NOT ME!!! Resist and refuse and DENY it?!!! That’s more like it!! It’s sort of sad, sometimes, how much JOY I missed out on simply BEcause I was so resistant.

And yet…

That is My Life and My Story. In truth I wouldn’t change one thing. It took all that [and probably more that, thankfully, has vanished from memory] to arrive Here. And it will always BE thus. Life is a ride and even if I am a bit overwhelmed by its sudden jerks and dives and dips, I am committed to EnJOYing it, as it is, as it is NOT.

I am grateful for the ability and capacity I Now have to reflect on my Life.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 3 July 2012

Live With Intention Ó2012 Currie Silver

Live With Intention

With focus

With heart

With lovingkindness

Choose to BE awake

Make YOUR Difference

While you’re HERE

DO It Now… On Purpose.

Talking with a friend yesterday, I BEcame aware of something that I’d seen but NOT really noticed. I have a HUGE sense of purposeful accomplishment at this halfway point of 2012. It might BE a whole lot of silly stuff, but for me, it is astounding, and almost too much to take in.

Still…

I am grateful for CHOOSING to live in new ways, to let old ways go, and to have a very keen sense of BEing Present and having both my feet standing firmly in Right Now.

It’s a LOT, actually, when I really take the long pause-worthy look backward. Who would’ve ever imagined that such simple things done daily one day at a time could add up to such a feeling of awakeness?! I used to think accomplishment had to BE more sink your teeth into to BE worthy of calling true Accomplishment. And yet again I am grateful for my wrongthinking.

I suppose all of this can BE traced back to this simple principle: Live With Intention. It’s the soil I planted 2012 in, and it’s what I am nourishing it with each day.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 2 July 2012

Always BElieve In Enough 

Ó2012 Currie Silver

Even when you’re NOT sure

When it seems utterly IMPOSSIBLE

To BElieve

Always… ALWAYS

BElieve In Enough

Earlier I was writing on this and I had one of those lightbulb moments where suddenly the big ominous shapes I was making out in the dark were revealed to BE Nothing more than shadows on the wall. Life is funny that way. At least MINE is…

Early on in Life I picked up the BElief that there was just so much, BEyond that, NO MORE, and that my “job” was to stay within the boundaries or, well, go without. And while I’d like to reveal that what I’d go without was food, candy, or toys, in other words, THINGS, what I had in my wee head was Love, Time, Affection, and Attention were in short supply and when they were given here or there that left only so much [or none at all] for me.

I think this isn’t unique, but to me, this morning, the disillusionment I have BElieved in, firmly, actually took me quite by surprise. It isn’t a proud moment, by any stretch, though it holds within it the promise of Real Change simply by changing that BElief. Even just a smidge…

I am grateful BEing wrong gives me hope.

I love you, Currie

Currie's Gratitude 1 July 2012

Let Go. Make Room. Ó2012 Currie Silver

It’s simple

Easy

Loosen your grip

Relax your mind

Breathe

Let Go. Make Room.

It seems to BE such an easy thing, Letting Go, but mayBE that is BEcause I am looking at it from the After Place. Yesterday I was living inside a vice-grip. I was squeezing myself so tightly that it felt unrelenting. Impossible.

Funny thing is, I knew it straightaway when I saw it. I tried stopping. I thought of HOW I have shut it down other times. I considered my options. I didn’t EVEN select one. I just tried loosening my stranglehold just an inch, then 2, then opening my hand. Ahhhhhhh…

I stepped out of myself long enough to SEE ME and instead of ridiculing myself and berating myself even more, I dug deeper and found some compassion and simple understanding. I took a few deep breaths and wiggled my shoulders. I laughed, with kindness, NOT AT myself, just with myself.

In what seemed like hours I was able to see the gripping at a far distance. Really, though, it was no more than a few minutes. A blink in the grander picture of Life.

I’d let go and made room to simply BE. As I was. As I was NOT. And found that deep Gratitude…

I love you, Currie